Donor-conceived children grow up in a variety of family structures. Some are raised by a biological mother and a social or legal father, while others grow up in rainbow families with a biological mother and a social and/or legal mother. There are also cases where a biological mother has deliberately chosen to raise a child as a single parent.
Surrogacy (and egg donation) can also lead to family structures where a child is raised by a single biological father. In rare cases, donor-conceived children are born into genetically unrelated families through IVF adoption.
Due to social stigma and feelings of shame, many donor-conceived individuals either never learn about their conception or only discover the truth later in life. Once they do, they often develop a strong desire to know all their biological parents—just like adoptees, stolen children, or those who learn they have been affected by an NPE. The emotional unrest caused by missing pieces in their biological lineage fuels their search, which can often be challenging.
“Humans have a deep-seated need for roots, stability, and continuity. Donor-conceived people often feel this need acutely, driven by a desire to know all the places where they belong. The quest to learn about their ancestry is not merely about gathering information but about constructing a meaningful narrative that integrates their past, present, and future.”
Wendy Kramer - Donor-Conceived People: The Search for Ancestry and Identity (2024)
Search challenges
Who are you looking for?
Depending on the method of conception, the search may focus on the genetic mother (in the case of egg donation) or the genetic father (in the case of sperm donation). A theoretically possible but highly unlikely scenario is the search for the donor of an enucleated egg used in nuclear transfer. If surrogacy is considered from an epigenetic perspective, two additional biological mothers come into focus. However, these individuals cannot currently be identified through direct-to-consumer (DTC) DNA testing. In such cases, private investigations remain the only way to trace the biological family.
"The grace of being born after"
The search is further complicated by the fact that anonymous egg and sperm donation – or their anonymous sale to fertility clinics – has only recently been replaced by legally mandated disclosure of donor identities in many countries. For example, donor anonymity ended in Germany in 2018 and in the UK in 2005.
The disappearance of donor data
Donor-conceived children born before key changes in the law often face significant challenges in discovering the identities of their biological parent(s). Many reproductive clinics have closed, the doctors who treated them may have passed away, files have been destroyed, and stored data is often inadequate. Legal disputes with insemination companies often lead to no resolution. Often, donor-conceived individuals encounter these obstacles in their search for answers.
Non-regulated inseminations
Some mothers who wish to have children visit fertility clinics abroad, while others source unknown donors and sperm for self-insemination through online forums. Unofficial inseminations abroad, which are later legalised in the home country through the (illegal) acknowledgment of paternity by another man, are also a reality. For the donor-conceived individual in all of these scenarios, it is difficult to provide a simple answer to the question about their origin.
Nevertheless, these children also seek to exercise their right to know their biological ancestry. To do so, DNA analysis, combined with genealogical research, is often essential in asserting this right.
While finding the donor may not always lead to a familial or friendly relationship, simply knowing their identity, background, and potential medical history can often help initiate a crucial healing process for the donor-conceived individual.
As sperm is donated, sold, or used multiple times, donor-conceived children are increasingly likely to discover biological half-siblings through DNA analysis. These half-siblings may share not only physical and personality traits but also similar life experiences as donor-conceived children. For many donor-conceived individuals, connecting with these half-siblings is a deeply enriching and rewarding experience.